Help to heal the hurt.

I can't help myself. This has been on my mind for a solid week. Like, all day every day for a week. 

2,000 years ago, a man committed the most solitary, unselfish act that has ever been done/recorded in the history of our knowledge of everything. What does the Atonement mean to you? Why is it personal? Why don't enough people understand it fully? Yesterday in sacrament meeting, my lightbulb powered by this subject turned completely and fully on for the first time in almost twenty years. The Atonement is a process of constant re-conversion--to ourselves, God, and the gospel. Every time we sin, we go back to it, and we become re-converted and stronger than we were before. I think that this is why the Atonement is so personal and deep. You can memorize the scriptures word-for-word and read every conference and Ensign talk that has ever existed in the history of this church, but until you come to Christ to be healed of pain or wrongdoing, you cannot fully experience what the Atonement is. When you go to Christ to be healed, his Atonement is the means to your becoming whole again, and that stays with you for eternity. To those who still do not feel like they have a solid understanding of the Atonement, I can assure you that you can have one this very day if you want it. GO to Christ. Seek His help, love, and healing. He will re-convert and heal you every. single. time. Now, at this point, you're probably all thinking that I have committed some major sin. ;) I can promise you that I have not. My lightbulb turned on for another reason. I have been battling with feeling alone for the past week. I am a home girl, and I have just really, really missed my family this week. Yesterday, our YSA ward held family day, and mine wasn't able to attend. As I looked out over the congregation of students and their families, it hit home just how much I really missed mine, and I cried. I realized that what I was feeling must be what our Heavenly parents feel when they see us making wrong choices here and realize that they will not get to be with all of us again. I think that they have probably cried, too. The Atonement healed me of my homesickness and loneliness this week, and I know that it can heal you of anything you are struggling with too. Christ atoned for YOU. He atoned for Hitler, Stalin, Ted Bundy, the terrorists who flew two planes full of innocent people into the twin towers 12 years ago, the people who martyred Joseph Smith, and YOU. You and me both. Go back to Him. He is waiting to give you that hug that you need when your family can't be with you on family day in your YSA ward. ;) He WILL give you at testimony of the Atonement, because you are giving Him the chance to forgive and bless you. God delights in nothing more than blessing and forgiving his children.

Why is she superwoman by today's standards?

Pinterest tonight is my inspiration. I mean, isn't that how women gain inspiration? Going to Pinterest? ;) I was looking through some of the quotes, and I was surprised by how many of them were really, really sarcastic, mean, and rude. Our world has turned a corner. In order to be an empowered and successful woman, by today's standards, you have to be tough, mean, and know how to "dish it out". You have to know how to tell people off and walk away with that proud, swinging gate of just having accomplished something. You have to know how to put others down in order to build yourself up, and you have to tell the world that you are a WOMAN, and you are INVINCIBLE. Since when did being mean and telling people off make you successful and powerful?

I began to wonder what happened to being soft-spoken, non-offensive, and warm hearted. I began to wonder why we feel the need to stir the pot so often to create drama...or I guess, ACCOMPLISH something and "set things straight". Whatever happened to courtesy, love, and acceptance? Whatever happened to being humble and approachable? As women we need to be genteel and kind. We need to be nurturing and open-hearted. We need to let go of grudges. I am not saying that we should not be successful in life and pursue the things we want, but why is it that a teacher who whispers has a quieter, more obedient class than the one who yells to gain the attention of her students? Let's stop role-playing the model of today's empowered and successful woman. Let's change the world by whispering. Let's be kind, loving, and infinitely more powerful because of it. Make a change today. Apologize first next time...don't write that nasty note to your neighbor who lets their dog poop in your yard...love as Christ did. Infinitely and purely. 

Just a box. :)

I had one of the most humbling experiences of my life today. I have been humbled before, but for some reason, this experience took me to a whole new level of gratitude today. I went to the cafe in the music building up here at USU, tired and sore after a long day of rehearsals, practicing, and classes. As I was sitting waiting for for my food, I noticed a young lady sitting on the couch across from my table. I observed her for a moment. She has a walker due to physical and mental handicaps. This isn't what humbled me, however. She had purchased a piece of cake that was packaged in a clear box. As I watched, she picked up that box and began to try to open it. Due to her handicaps, her hands were not physically able to open the box. I watched her struggle for just a moment, and then I couldn't take it any longer. I walked over and opened her cake box for her. As I sat back down at my table, I tried not to let the tears slip out of my eyes. This beautiful girl was going to school and doing amazing things with her life despite her struggles and disabilities. She couldn't even open a cake box on her own, but she is here, trying and learning. I realized how ungrateful I am sometimes for my education. It is such a blessing to be able to be here, learning and growing. I also realized that I really don't appreciate my functional body and mind. I take it for granted EVERY day. This girl humbled me beyond measure today. I am grateful for the opportunity that I had to help her....It made me appreciate my beautiful, charmed life. So today, I challenge you to be grateful. Grateful for your working hands and legs. Grateful for your sharp intellect. Don't take it for granted, guys. We can open our cake boxes on our own. 

Live and let love...

Quick. Love. Word association. What comes to your head first? This word evokes so many things for me. God, family, friends, school, autumn leaves, hand written letters, music, smiles, laughing...the list could go on forever. I began thinking today...why is it that we have such a hard time opening ourselves up and letting love rush in? Why is it hard for us to allow something so beautiful to overcome us? Why is it hard to let someone love you? I guess we accept the love we think we deserve...but we deserve it all. Ever single beautiful human being on this planet deserves to be infinitely happy. Every person deserves to find the people and things that make them the happiest. Don't be afraid to let people love you...you deserve it. There's risk that comes with being that way...I know. There is risk in everything though. We are all going to get hurt sometimes. The greatest risks yield the greatest rewards though. Risk it all. Open up. Let people love you. Love other people. BE HAPPY. :) I hope you all have a wonderful, happy, love-filled labor day weekend. :)

Adolescence caught in a whirlwind.

Ghandi said it perfectly. "There is more to life than increasing its speed." Let's be honest. Us pre-adult, post-teens are stuck in a sticky situation. Tv shows move too quickly, life is changing by the day, and we are having to make crazy big decisions on a weekly basis. I mean, eating Froot Loops for breakfast could TOTALLY stunt any hopes of me growing in the next few years. I still have time to do that right? Or don't I? AH! We are pushed at this stage in our lives to make big, big decisions: pick a college, pick a major, pick your breakfast, pick a husband..you know. Big stuff. We are caught in a whirlwind of decisions, frantically trying to make the right one. I realized something tonight though. We are all going to screw up. We're going to make mistakes, and that is totally okay. Take TIME to mess up. Enjoy your life. There is more to it than increasing its speed. There is no need to rush our lives ahead. Be proactive and progressive but not hasty. ENJOY college. ENJOY high school. ENJOY. LIFE. Make the best of every single day. Don't try to rush into things. The right things will come, and you will know and love it. :) That doesn't mean you don't have to stop looking, it just means that you don't have to keep chasing and running. So, as for me, I'm going lean back in my seat and just enjoy the ride. Come what may and love it. 

We create chains from fishing line.

Confusing title? Let me try and explain. So, my family has been preparing for a camping trip in the past few days (yay!). We've been grocery shopping, cleaning, over-analyzing, and stressing. A few of us ended up in the kitchen tonight, and someone started arguing with somebody else. It erupted from there, and I think there are four people in their arguing now. I am on the back porch enjoying the lovely 7:00 breeze and luke-warm shade. :) I came out here so that I would not start arguing, and then it got me thinking. We have SO much to do still, and my family is in there bickering away their time! (Don't get me wrong, this is natural. Everybody argues every once in a while) Packing for a family of 9 is no easy task, especially when the four youngest can't pack for themselves. :) This is where the fishing line comes in. Satan is so good at working his havoc unnoticed. Had I not come outside to avoid the arguments, I wouldn't have realized what he was doing. He started that argument in there, and that is now putting us behind in our packing and preparation. Being behind in that is going to cause massive amounts of stress tomorrow, which will just lead to even angrier conversations. He ties us with the fishing line, first, and then we make it into chains by letting him provoke us into making the first mistake. We are the ones who continue to argue and let time slip away doing so, and that is what creates the chains that he holds onto us with later. So, it's been about half an hour now. They might be wrapped in twine in there by now. ;) I guess I just want to say WATCH OUT!!!!! Don't let him get ahold of you. Figure out how to spot his temptations from a mile away, and then RUN in the other direction. That way you can make it out the door to camp on time and prepared. :)

Broken drawer for a prayer.

I am laughing while I write this. Really. As I was crawling into bed tonight, I decided that I would write in my journal before I went to bed. Well, I didn't have a pen handy, so I naturally went nosing in my little sister's nightstand drawer to find one. The dresser drawer wouldn't open. That was my fault too. I took it upon myself to do some serious organizing while she is at girls camp, and a book that I had placed in that drawer was keeping it from opening. Flustered, I started pulling at the drawer and wiggling it in every which way in an unsuccessful attempt to get it open. Finally, I surrendered and dropped down on my knees. "Heavenly Father, please just let this drawer open. I really, really need a pen. Also, I don't want Holly to be mad that I organized her drawers so well that they won't open." My prayer was answered. When I went to pull the drawer open again, SURPRISE! The WHOLE FRONT of the drawer popped off. I sat stunned for a minute while I questioned the way that my prayer was answered, and then had to laugh before I went downstairs and sheepishly admitted to my mother what I had done. Needless to say, I am going to be learning how to fix a broken dresser drawer this week. :) Now, I suppose I could look at this situation two ways. First case scenario: Heavenly Father was punishing me for messing around in my sister's drawers and trying to organize them (without her consent). Second case scenario: God is trying to teach me that prayers aren't always answered how you think or wish that they will be, and He has a sense of humor. The latter sounds a little more appealing, so I think I'll go with that one. Anyhow, I just thought I would share my thought for tonight, and that is that our prayers will most likely not be answered in the way that we expect, but they can oftentimes be answered in the ways we want. I wanted the drawer to open, but I was certainly not expecting the front of it to break off in order for me to get that pen. Be on the lookout...be aware of when and how He is answering your prayers, because he will ALWAYS answer them, even if he has to break a drawer to do it. :)