What is a real "gift" anyway....

Recently, I've been religiously following this blog called Mr. Money Mustache, and he is slowly turning into my financial/living-a-wise-life idol. One of his blog posts talks about the Mother's Day tradition that his family does. Instead of going out and buying his wife flowers, chocolates, and stuffed teddy bears (that end up in the Goodwill bag a few months later), she has a specific part of the yard that they plant beautiful flowers in every Mother's Day, and it serves as a reminder of the holiday and the blessing it is for her to be a mom for the rest of the summer/growing season. It got me thinking....how can we give more MEANINGFUL and less WASTEFUL gifts in our lives?
I'll admit, I'm one of those super-fretful gift buyers...I'll stare at my computer screen agonizing for hours over what to get my husband for his birthday or what to buy for my best friend on her wedding day (Which I still haven't done yet. Sorry, Camille. I'll get around to it...and it'll probably be something better after this blog post/inspiration). After reading Mr. Money Mustache's post though, I have a resolution this year (and for the rest of my life) to not ever buy meaningless material things for people that don't further an on-going connection or memory with a friend or family member. Now, this post is not supposed to be one of those "10 Homemade Gifts That Will Astound Your Man!" sort of pinterest things, but rather an invitation to you to do something meaningful instead of going to Target and buying some cheesy plastic doodad that doesn't really help your relationship or the environment.
This past December for my husband's birthday, we were both super busy with finals and finalizing traveling plans to make it back to Utah for our school break, and so my usual fretful-gift-buying self didn't have time to be fretful. So, I just decided that we were going to have an evening of doing something together that he enjoyed, and we were going to do it frugally since we would have some major travel expenses coming up. I ended up ordering two sushi mats and some sea-weed sheets off of Amazon (for a total of about $8), and we spent the night laughing, making low-quality homemade videos, and eating some sub-par, first-attempt homemade Sushi, and it was one of my most favorite things that we have done together to date. The memories that we created that night far outweigh anything that I could have possibly purchased to "wow" him. So as we approach Mother's Day, Birthdays, Anniversaries, and Christmases, let's forget about consumerism and instead strive for memory-isms and relationship building-isms. For my birthday, I think I'm going to ask for an evening together spent getting my pots ready and planting some little herb seeds that will grow and make my cooking more pleasant all summer long. What have you done for holidays that is sweeter than giving physical gifts? Post below!!! :) 

Make that plan....Today!

As a friend of mine so perfectly put it the other day, "My life is so crazy right now, I need a planner for my planner!" (Thank you Lauren Bender for understanding my life haha). My schedule has been pretty darn crazy over the past few weeks, not that that is unusual, but it has been a little crazier even than usual. I bring up the planner quote, because I am a fairly avid planner user, and if I don't write something down and hold myself accountable for it, I forget to do it. Now, this is all very simple talk...I'm getting to something, I promise. One more story first, though. :) Due to all of the craziness over the past few weeks, I haven't cooked as much, and having been eating so healthy this school year, Dallin and I were definitely feeling it. Both of us were just more tired, lethargic, and lacking in motivation. So, this week, I was absolutely determined to cook at least five nights, and the other two would be left-over nights. I got out my cookbooks, chose some recipes, made a menu-list for the week, and finally made a grocery list and we went shopping together (a rarity that is precious to me). I am very happy to say that I succeeded in my goal, and we have felt SO much better this week. The reason I succeeded though, is because I MADE A PLAN.
Lately I feel that my spirit has been experiencing what my body was a few weeks ago...tiredness, lethargy, and a lack of motivation. My scripture study and daily prayer has not been on track because I get tired and lazy after a long school day and teaching lots of students. I have not been tapping into the power and happiness that I could have been, and so I am determined to change that. I am making a plan this week, and hopefully for a long time after that. Just like making a list for going to the grocery store to buy the things I need, I am making a list of things that my spirit needs: scripture study, prayer, conference talks, church, family time, service, and wise-use of my time. Just as cooking takes time to nourish my body the right way, studying takes time to nourish my spirit the right way. My goal is going to be 20-30 minutes EVERY DAY of reading my scriptures and conference talks. I have discovered that not a lot of things get done in life very well without a plan. Those who are prepared will always succeed, or be closer to doing to than those who don't have a plan. We witness this in the bible with the story of the ten virgins and the coming of the bridegroom. Those who had oil were able to join in the celebratory ceremony, and those who did not prepare were not! I want to be celebrating, every day. I want everyday to be filled with joy, motivation, love, and a desire to do better and to better myself. I encourage you to make a plan today, even if it's not religious-based, to do things to better yourself. Eat healthier, exercise (even if it's just a 10 minute routine before you go to bed!), try harder to look for the good in others and likewise to look for the good in yourself, serve someone, stay on top of your homework and don't procrastinate for a whole week. These things are so difficult, but they mold us into wonderful individuals who are prepared to make our world a better place. So, MAKE A PLAN! :)

Respect is the underlying issue.

Today, if you walked up to almost anyone and asked them what they thought our country's biggest social issue was, I would guess that they would answer "Gay rights!" (LGBTQ included). I am a Christian and will openly admit that I have my own opinions about the issue, and those opinions include members of the LGBTQ group not being discriminated against. The SOGI act that was repealed yesterday brought some things to my attention. Firstly, I feel that a lot of people who are enraged that it was repealed aren't completely informed as to what the act entirely entails. If you are going to rant and rave about something and especially VOTE ON IT TO PUT LAWS IN PLACE, you need to know exactly what you are voting into action. Over 30,000 people voted, and this video only has 4,000 views.... See following: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q1YHKD9WRUE

Personally, I do not wish to have people come into my home (if I chose to homeschool my children) and teach their version of a non-discrimination lecture to my children. I believe that is MY right as a parent to educate them on such issues. Also, I don't think that the city needs to create a huge budget for investigators to go into businesses and have the right to seize whatever documentation/persons they wish. I DO want members of the LGBTQ group to have their rights, but this ordinance added in other things that were not okay with me. I feel that now the point of all of these ordinances/bills/arguments is to force everyone to be completely accepting of the LGBTQ group's way of life. If we are going to be frank, that will never happen. You simply cannot change a person's morals and core beliefs if they don't want them to be changed. Racism still exists doesn't it? Not that I want it to, but it does. I think that Christians and other religions alike need to be respectful towards LGBTQ, and I also think that LGBTQ needs to be respectful of Christians and their beliefs. It is that simple. It disgusts me to see all of the horrid, hateful arguments/comments when somebody posts that they believe in the sanctity of marriage as it has been defined up until now, and it disgusts me just as much to see parents disowning their children/abusing them because they are homosexual or transgender. I don't want to be worried about posting something on my facebook account that states that I am in favor of the repeal or not in favor of it, because I would receive guff both ways. All in all, I think that respect is our biggest problem. The LGBTQ group and Christians are both pushing so hard to receive respect on their end but are not giving it to each other. Yes, the ordinance was repealed, so that's that. There is no need for nasty facebook statuses and comments on either end. Springfield wanted it repealed, and so it was. 

Silver linings

My goodness. These past few weeks have just felt like a roller-coaster, one that is just a huge drop downwards....forever....never-ending...okay. You get the picture. Basically you just feel like life is coming at you so fast that you don't know how to handle it and so you throw your hands up in the air and scream. My downward drop right now consists of 27 (that's right, TWENTY SEVEN) cello students, three church callings, 19 credit hours, a junior recital coming up, and then there's the whole "being married" thing. ;) To top it off, I got some sort of bug or stomach thing the last two days (for whoever knows me well, you know that I am TERRIFIED of vomiting...luckily none of that was involved, just lots of stomach pain and nausea). I was upset with myself the other day because I came home and the house was dirty, and I hadn't gone grocery shopping which was desperately needed, I really hadn't practiced my cello enough that day, and I was behind on some homework that I needed to do. I really felt like throwing my hands up in the air and screaming. How am I supposed to manage it all? Well, I'm not, and I can't on my own. I have definitely experienced some silver linings in the past few weeks. Dallin has taken on a new desire to do the dishes and laundry this semester and that has helped me so much. No to mention his constant support and big hugs when I need them. Now, let's talk about the 27 students. When I signed up at Springfield music, I was thinking my studio MIGHT get as large as 18 students...that's what my manager told me it would probably be. I started out with 12 students, and then the e-mails just kept showing up. New student! Starts this Thursday at four....this saturday at 12...this tuesday at 7....Meanwhile, my planner pages were filling up with "Do theory assignment #7, study for quiz on monday, complete assigned reading for REL 131, do elaboration composition for counterpoint." The list was never ending, but so were the tender mercies. There have been a few nights where I was just completely exhausted and had no idea how I was going to finish teaching those next two students, and then both of them call saying that they had something come up and would need to cancel for that night. There have also been times where I walk out of a lesson feeling renewed and energized because I had a wonderful day teaching wonderful children how to play the cello. A few of my classes that I'm in this semester are light on the homework load, and so I can manage all of the harder ones and still not be completely overwhelmed. When it comes to the sunbeam class, I'm still working on finding multiple silver linings for that one, but this last Sunday, one of the cute little boys, definitely rowdy and a handful, came up to me and just gave me this giant hug and wanted to sit on my lap. When I walked out of that class, I was happy. We have friends and family here who have done so much for us, and I just can't help but to see the silver linings. They don't happen every day, but they are enough to keep me going until the next one. God knows us individually and he knows exactly what we need when we need it. I have no doubt that He has been sending those little tender mercies and silver linings to me along the way. 

Practice makes permanent.

Man, it's been a while! I have missed you, blog. ;) My inspiration today comes from my job: cello teacher. I am currently the cello teacher at a local music store here in Springfield, and I have nearly 20 students. Yes, that was quite the adjustment. haha. I will fully admit to looking at my roll before each of them came into lessons for the first few weeks so that I could remember their names. Anyhow, I have this one particular student who is just this bubbling ball of energy and stories. She has a hard time staying on track, and ALWAYS plays when I am talking to her (MAJOR TEACHER PET PEEVE). However, there were a few things that I realized when I was sitting in that tiny practice room teaching her the other day. If she would just practice 15-20 minutes a day, focusing on the things I've been telling her to do, she could improve a significant amount of her technique problems in a week or two. Not overnight over even with a few days of practice, but a few weeks would do her some good. Also, if she would listen carefully and truly try to integrate what I tell her to do or change into her practicing, she would be much more effective as well. She does neither of these things, unfortunately. ;) However, my yearning for her to succeed and continue to progress does not change. I am constantly wanting and pushing her to become a better, more refined player. Is this not what our Heavenly Father wants for us? He desires so much that we would take 15-20 minutes out of each of our days to study His scriptures and the words of His prophets and church leaders. He wants us to not PLAY while He is talking...put the phones away, turn off the computer. When you practice an instrument, you don't go to the loudest, most distracting room in the house to do it. You find a quiet spot that allows you the peace of mind to concentrate and focus on changing your playing and technique. How often are we playing while He is talking? How often is the noise of our busy lives interfering with the things He knows that we need to hear? How often do we not realize that He is truly trying to help us, because what he wants the most is for us to become successful in this life. Successful at playing this piece called life. :) Now, this post is in no way meant to compare myself to God, but only to compare the job of being a teacher to Him. I know without a doubt that if we take our time to "practice" our beliefs every day and to not play while He is talking, our technique will change. Our beings and spirits will change, and our lives will be more fulfilling. The title of this blog is a saying that one of my previous music teachers used to tell me. Practice does not make perfect, it makes permanent. If you practice bad habits, those become permanent. If you practice good ones, the same applies. Make your testimony PERMANENT! Happy Thanksgiving, everybody. You should all know that it's my favorite holiday. ;)

The Mormon Cult.

A lot of people who have a dislike for the LDS church refer to it as a cult. Is it? Well yes, yes it is. :) The literal definition of a cult (according to dictionary.com) is:
4. a group or sect bound together by veneration of the same thing,person, ideal, etc.

Veneration is to have awe or a feeling of reverence for something. So, the next time somebody refers to the LDS church as a cult, you can proudly say that it is, and then kindly refine their understanding of the definition of what a cult is. 
We are bound together by our FAITH in Jesus Christ. We are bound together by our IDEALS to become better, deeper, and happier human beings. We strive to follow the example of Christ in the Bible and Book of Mormon. We are BOUND to our Savior through sacred ordinances and our baptismal covenants. We have feelings of AWE and PROFOUND RESPECT and REVERENCE for our God, and for our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. We recognize that His atoning sacrifice allows us to return to Him through grace, but that we must show our appreciation and love for His grace by keeping His commandments and striving to be better people. This cult is real, and it is wonderful. To anyone who may be reading this as a nonmember, I urge you to look for the genuine truths of the LDS church, and understand that there are a lot of lies out there about the Mormons. I am always more than willing to answer questions. :) Even if you do not feel it's for you, I plead with you to not spread the lies. We do not seek to undermine other religious groups, nor do we bash on them. I respect any person from any religion who is trying to find God and find happiness. For myself, I have come to find that the LDS church is the closest thing to what I think the afterlife will be like and what I think God is and what He expects from us. I love my cult. 

The happiness advantage.

In my public speaking class a few weeks ago we watched this WONDERFUL Ted talks video....here's the link. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fLJsdqxnZb0 

I would really encourage you all to watch it. It's inspiring. I promise, the 12 minutes of your time won't be wasted. Anyway, in my attempt to live his advice a little, I'm blogging about something that I am really deeply grateful for today. I'm blogging about the people who have shaped me into the musician that I am. I was in the practice room earlier, kind of in a tired mood after not having slept as much as I would have enjoyed and just having been busy all morning, and I played through my sonata. I didn't just play through it though, I performed it, and it sounded beautiful. I sat back and thought, "Man, I could have NEVER figured out how to do that on my own." This post is dedicated to my mom, first and foremost, for never letting me quit. If you asked me in junior high and early high school about practicing and doing music, I would have just told you that my mom makes me do it and I like it, but I don't know if I'll ever do anything with it. Boy did that change. I'm so glad that my very patient and loving mom made me stick with it. I owe her a BIG one....a debt I don't think I'll ever really be able to pay off. I also appreciate all of the inspirational music teachers and experiences I was blessed with throughout my earlier years and even now. I'm so appreciative of Elizabeth Marsh, Kayson Brown, Richard Hoyt, Anne Francis, and my current teacher Dr. Murray. These people have molded me. Not only into a better musician, but a better person, friend, and colleague. They have helped me understand what it is to work and to push yourself to achieve higher levels than you thought were possible. I am grateful for the opportunities I've been given to help bring the Spirit into sacrament meetings at church by playing for those who come to seek peace and resolve in Christ. I'm grateful. I'm so grateful. I hope that I can work hard enough and utilize the things that I have been taught over the years to be worthy of all the wonderful teaching and inspiration I have received from these people. I'm happy. I love the happiness advantage, and I love these people. Look for things in your life that can help you live the happiness advantage. I challenge YOU to blog about it or to write about it in your journal. It can and will change your outlook on life. 

Empty by the end. :)

I found this wonderful quote today. "When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'." ~Erma Bombeck. Quotes usually persuade me to think on them for a while, but I have been thinking on this one for a long while. How am I using my talents this summer amidst my busy schedule to bless the lives of others and make the world a better, sweeter place?
I have been reading a (fictional) book recently about an aboriginal African tribe of people and their journey across a large desert. In their tradition, they do not celebrate birthdays in years, but rather they celebrate every year the growth, development, and accomplishments of the members of their tribe. They rally together and support and admire the talents of each member of their tribe and openly recognize what they are individually accomplished at. I love that idea! There is a difference between pride and self-worth, or a knowledge and appreciation for your own talents. I think that we should all feel grateful for the different things that God has made us apt towards. I hope that I can work so hard throughout my life to use what I feel I am good at to help my neighbors, friends, husband, and my current and future family. I hope that I can make a difference in my community and for those whom I may work or associate with. One of the things that I feel I have been given in this life is compassion, and I have found a small way to use it this summer. I do yardwork for a lady in pleasant grove for a few hours every week. One of her older daughters (who is living in Payson for the summer) owns a dog and keeps it at her mother's house here in Pleasant Grove. The mother is not much of an animal person, so the poor dog is never let out of her kennel. She is a decent sized dog (probably as big as your average lab), and the kennel is maybe 10 feet long by 4 feet wide. After I am finished with my yardwork, I have started taking the dog on a walk every time that I go over there so that she can stretch her legs and get to run for a little while, and I cannot tell you how this little act has blessed the dog and I. Every time I enter the yard, she wimpers and jumps around in her cage with her big brown eyes even wider than usual it seems BEGGING me to let her out and play with her. I have made a friend in this cute dog, and it fulfills me to be able to help her in a way that she can't help herself. I have absolutely no doubt that every single one of us has something to offer to someone to help and bless them. I also have no doubt that when we are standing at the feet of our God to review our lives that those moments will not be passed over. So, let's help each other. Let's recognize and not be afraid to share our talents with others. Personally, I'm looking forward to having my slobbery friend Nikki as a friend on the other side of the veil. :) 

I want REAL change. WE want real change.

I've been thinking lately about politics a lot....not the nasty side of things, but how certain things could be changed. How could the Gay/Lesbian marriage act be settled, how could our economy prosper, how could we vote a reasonable president into office who wouldn't do more harm than good, how can we help America to have less single-parent households and children being raised in them, how can we help the 12 million people in our country are on welfare and 46 million using food stamps to become self-sufficient and work-oriented. How?

In Alma, we read of the Zoramites who had become a wicked and corrupt people. They were self-righteous and sinful. Their method of worship was to climb onto a high tower and repeat the same prayer, once a week, after which they returned to their homes not to allow God in their thoughts again until the next day of worship the following week. They believed that they were set apart from the rest of their brethren, and that they were chosen and choice children of God and that all of them would be saved. Alma learns of this wickedness, and he seeks to reclaim this selfish generation of people. He says, "And now, as the preaching of the word had a great tendency to lead the people to do that which was just--yea, it had had more powerful effect upon the minds of the people than the sword, or anything else, which had happened unto them--therefore Alma thought it was expedient that they should try the virtue of the word of God" (Alma 31:5). 

I think that it would be expedient for US to try the virtue of the word of God. Religion had more effect on these corrupted people than ANYTHING else that had been tried. I see the same traits in our country that the Zoramites possessed--a selfish, prideful sense of worth and a lack of God in our homes and minds. I have no doubt that the gospel of Christ can settle the Marriage act, help our economy, give voters and presidential candidates better wisdom and morals, save many marriages and lessen single parent homes, teach and encourage self-sufficiency and reduce welfare and food stamp numbers...I have absolutely NO doubt in my mind. So, although our votes are worth little, and our voices are often quieter than whispers in the large political whirlwind of this country, our testimonies are NOT. They are strong and can save and help our nation. I encourage you to share it. Share it with your friends, non-members, neighbors, members..whoever may need a lift. This gospel brings JOY and WISDOM. Who are we not to spread the wealth? 

Dream boat.

Some of you can relate to this post, and others/most of you will just roll your eyes at my gushing...but you know, that's how it goes. Now, our story begins at 10 Hillside circle, Dallin's and mine. I flirted for a solid 2 1/2 months before that boy asked me out. I never worked harder for a first date. However, I guess it paid off. We're getting married. I've learned a lot about myself and also about what it means to love someone. I have never wanted so badly in my life for someone else to be happy, comfortable, to feel loved, and to love me in return. I have never trusted someone more or been so excited to share experiences with someone. I know it's cheesy, but like I said, some of you can relate already, and the rest of you will relate someday. :) I can't wait to work with him, come closer to the Lord through and with him, put his name in my FamilySearch tree, and build a family with him. :) I really do love this boy. 

I think I've caught a bug....

Friends and Family, I've caught something. It's like an itch that just won't go away...no matter how much or how deeply you scratch it. This itch is classified under the FamilySearch category, and it just won't leave me alone. Now you all know....I'm just insanely excited about family history work. One of my new years resolutions was to find at least one name that wasn't linked into my family line and link it there...I've found two! Now, what's two names to be excited about? It's true, I've only found two names that did not exist there before, but now TWO more people have the possibility of living with our Heavenly Father if they accept the temple work that I can now do for them. There's more, though. I was taught how to do something called descendancy research, and by doing this, I have found 158 names of people who have not yet had their temple work done in my family line--some very distantly related, and some not-so-distantly related. I like to imagine a wonderful group of spirits cheering me on as I spend the laborious hours on the FamilySearch website searching, merging, and adding. I like to imagine the smiles on their faces when their names are found, and their ordinances are requested and taken to the temple. I like to imagine the tears of joy streaming down their faces when they realize that they will be able to live with their family for the rest of eternity, and spend the rest of eternity in the presence of our Heavenly Father. I KNOW that there are millions upon millions of spirits waiting in the spirit world to receive their ordinances, and they can't do it for themselves. But there's happy news, WE CAN!!! Get involved. Find your family, find a greater faith, and find joy for those who can't find it for themselves. :)

Angel in #2

So, last year I wrote about an Angel sent to #204....I'm still writing about that same Angel. Miss Cassandra Marie Childs....and in less than 30 days, it will be Sister Childs. Yes, I am obviously a very supportive friend and happy that she is going on a mission, but there is a little part of me that's dying inside and a few tears that have slipped out of my eyes when I think about the fact that she moves out tomorrow morning and isn't coming back. I can't help but think of the million laughs we've shared, the hardships she's helped me with, and the ever-constant smile that never leaves her face. Her positive attitude about everything never ceases to amaze me, and I am constantly in awe when it comes to her intense dedication to her schoolwork, her family, her friends, and God. She gives the absolute best advice anyone could ever ask for, and she ALWAYS knows how to help you. She is the most beautiful girl I know, and next semester really won't be the same without her. The best part of coming home every day is being roomies with you, Cass. :) I'll miss you more than you could possibly ever imagine. 18 months can NOT pass soon enough. :)

Thanksgiving--the reason for the season. :)

People are always curious about why Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday...it's a reasonable sort of thing to be curious about. I'll tell you, though. I'll tell you EXACTLY why Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. I love cuddling with my six, darling siblings to read books and not worry about time or a schedule. I love being with my amazing dad in the kitchen all day long--just cooking and cooking..something we both love. :) I love not having the possibility of getting caught up in the hustle and bustle of the holiday--there are no gifts to buy, no big concerts to attend, and no waking up at 4 AM. I love the simplicity of the idea of Thanksgiving...a whole day where we just get to revel in all of the wonderful blessings that God has given us. In my mind, there can't possibly be a more beautiful sort of day. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a Christmas hater...I'm just more of a Thanksgiving lover. Happy Thanksgiving, guys. :)

for Love. :)

I found this quote the other day...don't ask me where it's from or who said it, because I couldn't tell you. :) "If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change." Now, for just a moment, close your eyes. Well, now you can't read this, so you'll open them again as soon as you figure that out. But I want you to close your eyes for just a minute and think about something that you view negatively. Think about a situation, a friend, a family member....now, I want you to picture yourself as Christ, and do the same thing again. I do not say this to be sacrilegious in any manner; I say it so that you can truly see this person or situation as Christ would. Where does their beauty lie? What are their strengths? Why were they put in your path? Now, I guarantee that if you intently study the situation as Christ would, your view of this person will change. I've had it happen to me. Today, someone told me that there are things in life that will outweigh anything wonderful that you can buy in this festive season of the year. The relationships that you have with people will outweigh that. Repair the broken relationships that you have with family members and friends this season. Don't let the disconnect still be there. There is no sweeter feeling than the healing that comes after that repair. It's what He would want....and really, it's what you want too. :)

not-so-accidental Interview. :)

I know that it has been said before, but God really does work in amazing ways. I can't help it. #I'mamormon. These posts come around every once in a while. :) Yesterday, a member of the bishopric texted me and asked if I could meet with the my Bishop today, and I willingly agreed. I was a little confused--I already had a calling, and my temple recommend was up to date...no mission plans either. Maybe he was going to chastise me for not doing my visiting teaching this past month........yeah..... Anyway, I put it to the back of my mind until today. I showed up at his office at the appointed time and he ushered me in. I sat down, still a little perplexed as to why I was there. He proceeded to say, "Jessica! How are you? You're here for a temple recommend, right?" Me: "Um, Bishop, you most certainly gave that to me last week." Bishop (dumbfounded): "Wait, really? Man! I thought I hadn't given you your recommend yet!!" Me (proceeded to pull recommend out of my wallet): "Well, you most certainly did!" So, instead of having a temple recommend interview, we just had a chat instead. I just sort of asked him some questions that had been weighing on my mind really heavily this past week, and the things he said were EXACTLY what I needed to hear. I needed a little bit of assurance this week, and that is how I got it. The Spirit knew that I needed to confide in someone and get some help this week, and He knew exactly how to get me into that office, because I am often too nervous to ask for help even if I need it. And maybe I didn't think that I needed that talk as much as I did, but afterwards I realized how much a simple conversation with a wonderful, spiritual Bishop had helped me. The Lord works in amazing ways, friends. I know that He is ALWAYS there for you, even if you are not there for Him. The church is true, guys. It really is. :)

The best kind of validation. :)

There is always an instance from my day that inspires a blog post. :) Today, my thoughts revolve around the social need and human desire for validation from those around us. We crave to have the people we love and care about support, praise, and love us. We constantly need the approval of our fellow men. As much as these sort of affirmations are a good thing, I think that sometimes it can diminish our light and dim the image that we perceive for ourselves. When we do something that we believe is noteworthy and then don't receive any recognition for it, most allow it to affect their souls and make them angry, hurt, or confused. I came to realize this morning though that we do not need the validation from others. Humans validate things that they perceive are noteworthy or praiseworthy. They can only give you validation from what they witness on the outside of you. God gives you validation and praise based on what He sees on the INSIDE of you. His acceptance and love are perfect and un-biased. He is not influenced by today's standards and ratings of what is good and what isn't. He is only influenced by what he sees in your heart. :) The next time that you are struggling, remember that even if no one else understands why you are making the decisions that you are (for me, it's not going on a mission), He does. As long as you are seeking to do what is right, He will ALWAYS find a way to endorse your actions. Christ gives the very best affirmations, and He always, always will. :)

Help to heal the hurt.

I can't help myself. This has been on my mind for a solid week. Like, all day every day for a week. 

2,000 years ago, a man committed the most solitary, unselfish act that has ever been done/recorded in the history of our knowledge of everything. What does the Atonement mean to you? Why is it personal? Why don't enough people understand it fully? Yesterday in sacrament meeting, my lightbulb powered by this subject turned completely and fully on for the first time in almost twenty years. The Atonement is a process of constant re-conversion--to ourselves, God, and the gospel. Every time we sin, we go back to it, and we become re-converted and stronger than we were before. I think that this is why the Atonement is so personal and deep. You can memorize the scriptures word-for-word and read every conference and Ensign talk that has ever existed in the history of this church, but until you come to Christ to be healed of pain or wrongdoing, you cannot fully experience what the Atonement is. When you go to Christ to be healed, his Atonement is the means to your becoming whole again, and that stays with you for eternity. To those who still do not feel like they have a solid understanding of the Atonement, I can assure you that you can have one this very day if you want it. GO to Christ. Seek His help, love, and healing. He will re-convert and heal you every. single. time. Now, at this point, you're probably all thinking that I have committed some major sin. ;) I can promise you that I have not. My lightbulb turned on for another reason. I have been battling with feeling alone for the past week. I am a home girl, and I have just really, really missed my family this week. Yesterday, our YSA ward held family day, and mine wasn't able to attend. As I looked out over the congregation of students and their families, it hit home just how much I really missed mine, and I cried. I realized that what I was feeling must be what our Heavenly parents feel when they see us making wrong choices here and realize that they will not get to be with all of us again. I think that they have probably cried, too. The Atonement healed me of my homesickness and loneliness this week, and I know that it can heal you of anything you are struggling with too. Christ atoned for YOU. He atoned for Hitler, Stalin, Ted Bundy, the terrorists who flew two planes full of innocent people into the twin towers 12 years ago, the people who martyred Joseph Smith, and YOU. You and me both. Go back to Him. He is waiting to give you that hug that you need when your family can't be with you on family day in your YSA ward. ;) He WILL give you at testimony of the Atonement, because you are giving Him the chance to forgive and bless you. God delights in nothing more than blessing and forgiving his children.

Why is she superwoman by today's standards?

Pinterest tonight is my inspiration. I mean, isn't that how women gain inspiration? Going to Pinterest? ;) I was looking through some of the quotes, and I was surprised by how many of them were really, really sarcastic, mean, and rude. Our world has turned a corner. In order to be an empowered and successful woman, by today's standards, you have to be tough, mean, and know how to "dish it out". You have to know how to tell people off and walk away with that proud, swinging gate of just having accomplished something. You have to know how to put others down in order to build yourself up, and you have to tell the world that you are a WOMAN, and you are INVINCIBLE. Since when did being mean and telling people off make you successful and powerful?

I began to wonder what happened to being soft-spoken, non-offensive, and warm hearted. I began to wonder why we feel the need to stir the pot so often to create drama...or I guess, ACCOMPLISH something and "set things straight". Whatever happened to courtesy, love, and acceptance? Whatever happened to being humble and approachable? As women we need to be genteel and kind. We need to be nurturing and open-hearted. We need to let go of grudges. I am not saying that we should not be successful in life and pursue the things we want, but why is it that a teacher who whispers has a quieter, more obedient class than the one who yells to gain the attention of her students? Let's stop role-playing the model of today's empowered and successful woman. Let's change the world by whispering. Let's be kind, loving, and infinitely more powerful because of it. Make a change today. Apologize first next time...don't write that nasty note to your neighbor who lets their dog poop in your yard...love as Christ did. Infinitely and purely. 

Just a box. :)

I had one of the most humbling experiences of my life today. I have been humbled before, but for some reason, this experience took me to a whole new level of gratitude today. I went to the cafe in the music building up here at USU, tired and sore after a long day of rehearsals, practicing, and classes. As I was sitting waiting for for my food, I noticed a young lady sitting on the couch across from my table. I observed her for a moment. She has a walker due to physical and mental handicaps. This isn't what humbled me, however. She had purchased a piece of cake that was packaged in a clear box. As I watched, she picked up that box and began to try to open it. Due to her handicaps, her hands were not physically able to open the box. I watched her struggle for just a moment, and then I couldn't take it any longer. I walked over and opened her cake box for her. As I sat back down at my table, I tried not to let the tears slip out of my eyes. This beautiful girl was going to school and doing amazing things with her life despite her struggles and disabilities. She couldn't even open a cake box on her own, but she is here, trying and learning. I realized how ungrateful I am sometimes for my education. It is such a blessing to be able to be here, learning and growing. I also realized that I really don't appreciate my functional body and mind. I take it for granted EVERY day. This girl humbled me beyond measure today. I am grateful for the opportunity that I had to help her....It made me appreciate my beautiful, charmed life. So today, I challenge you to be grateful. Grateful for your working hands and legs. Grateful for your sharp intellect. Don't take it for granted, guys. We can open our cake boxes on our own. 

Live and let love...

Quick. Love. Word association. What comes to your head first? This word evokes so many things for me. God, family, friends, school, autumn leaves, hand written letters, music, smiles, laughing...the list could go on forever. I began thinking today...why is it that we have such a hard time opening ourselves up and letting love rush in? Why is it hard for us to allow something so beautiful to overcome us? Why is it hard to let someone love you? I guess we accept the love we think we deserve...but we deserve it all. Ever single beautiful human being on this planet deserves to be infinitely happy. Every person deserves to find the people and things that make them the happiest. Don't be afraid to let people love you...you deserve it. There's risk that comes with being that way...I know. There is risk in everything though. We are all going to get hurt sometimes. The greatest risks yield the greatest rewards though. Risk it all. Open up. Let people love you. Love other people. BE HAPPY. :) I hope you all have a wonderful, happy, love-filled labor day weekend. :)