It has begun again, only this time at 10:00pm.

Little did I know what I was getting myself into when I moved in with Cassandra Childs...weeks and weeks of running. ;) My pavement pounding has begun again. As much as I love to start out my day exercising, it just so happens that I have an early class, and I'd rather not get up at 5:00am, so we go in the evenings now. Tonight, as we ran, I could feel that my body was stronger than it was two weeks ago. I felt like I could go forever. As if by magic, it started to rain right at that moment. Cassie and I both just lifted our heads up and let it come down on us. It was such a beautiful, spontaneous moment. I am so blessed to have a roomate who motivates me to push myself and who helps me to become a better person in every aspect of my life. College, bring it on. Cassie and I are on the run. 

18 years of a beautiful life.

When I was little, I helped my mom grow cabbages twice the size of my head. Sunset was the end of my day, and sunrise was the beginning of it. I loved riding in the car when it was dark, and when it rained I would choose two small raindrops and pretend that they were racing each other, excitedly watching for which one would reach the bottom of the window first. I had indian-dark skin and white-blonde hair. Discovery park down the road was like a whole new world; so many nooks and crannies to hide in. My brother and I would spend hours and hours building elaborate hot-wheels tracks. Forts were our first sleeping choice, but not necessarily my mom's. My dad would give me one scoop of ice cream each night, and then brush my teeth before bed. I have lived 18 years of a beautiful life, and I hope that I live many, many more. 

Inspiration given through a cello goddess.

I walked outside last night and just sat on the curb for a while. I was just sitting there, thinking about life and everything else along with it. I started to question my motives, my future, my reasoning, my decisions. I felt like I was sinking into a dark hole full of question marks and confusion. However, today my cello professor, the cello goddess in this case, (during our lesson) gave me some fantastic words of musical wisdom. Not only did they correct some problems in my playing, but they gave me a sense of peace when it came to all of my questions that I had running through my head last night, too. She said (not necessarily word for word), "The problem with teaching is this: too many times we fall into the 'giving instructions and following them strictly' pattern. Instruction is good! It is useful in so many ways, but you have to remember that this is YOUR voice. The instruction I give is to simply help you find that voice. Ultimately, your playing needs to express what you want it to and convey the message that you want it to."
What an amazing woman. Little did she know that she was solving my life problems by telling me that I needed to phrase my music how I wanted to. It is times like these that I treasure the most because they always come at the most needed times. College is big. There are boogie men, so many buildings, intimidating grocery stores, and so many other things out there to get me. ;) But, this is MY voice. It is my time to take instruction from those around me, but use it how I will and turn my college experience into something that will enhance my life and express me. I may only be 5'2", but I know that my voice can be  Thank you, God. 

I'm still a child, and this is my prayer.

Father, tonight I found out that a friend of mine was diagnosed with Leukemia three weeks ago. I went outside and cried for a while. Why does there have to be so much hurt in the world? Could she please live? I think that her family and friends would miss her beautiful radiance and light that she carries with her everywhere.
Father, would you please bless all of those who are serving our country tonight. They are sleeping in tents on the ground while I am in a comfortable bed, safe inside my apartment. Please let them return to their families. What courage they have to leave and go so far away to keep me safe. I wish I could thank every single one of them in person.
Father, would you watch over the small children in Africa tonight? They have so little, and they probably have nothing to eat. I may be a poor college student, but I have a house and plenty of food in my pantry. Please bless those beautiful, orphaned brown faces who are out in the dark tonight, scared and alone. I just wish that I could go and hep every single one of them.
Father, aI know that I am not perfect, but please help me to try my hardest. Please help me to bless the lives of those around me with love and compassion. Please help me to serve my roomates, friends, and family in any way that I can. Please help me to smile at those around me. I love it when others smile at me. Please help me to be genuine in everything that I do and to always be strong and stand up for what I believe in. Thank thee for my life, health, freedom, and safety. I am so blessed.

Two tears and a smile.

I'm not sure what to write tonight. I wish I could just convey what my mind is thinking in a beautiful, powerful, emotional way. I watched the movie Radio tonight with one of my roomates, and I am amazed to say that it is the only movie I have ever cried during. Two tears, but it was still crying. :) Why is it that we condemn those who are different than us; those who have mental and physical problems. As I sat here tonight, I was overwhelmed with a sudden realization. Those people do not KNOW how to do wrong. They are perfect, beautiful spirits trapped inside of crippled, non-functioning bodies here on this earth. They are celestial. Why do we tease and judge those who are so pure and innocent? What beautiful, beautiful spirits they have. Their spirits are not tarnished in any way. They do not have the capability to intentionally hurt, tease, and wound people as we do. I came away from this movie with a tear streak down down my face and a smile on it too. We have a few things yet to learn from those who have the greatest lessons to teach us. Open your eyes and seek those lessons. They are not hard to find. Most of the time they come at you with open arms and a smile on their faces. 

Angel sent to room #204. :)

She has beautiful, long blonde hair, and invisible angel wings. She sings with a celestial voice, and her smile is always-present. Lucky for me, she gets to be my angel for the next 9 months, informally known by the title of roomie. :) When I didn't show up early last night, she came to check on me, because I don't have a phone. She always knows how to lift my mood, and she brings a blissful, happy air into our apartment. We have spent every single night staying up talking about the cutest boys in our building (most common topic of conversation...), recent struggles, and future recipes that we newly-formed homemakers are going to try-out. I am blessed beyond belief, and I find myself wondering more often than not, "Why me?". :)

God bless us. :)

Our dorm walls? Brown with layers of dirt.
Food? Delicious, but the kitchen is a disaster.
Heaven help my roomates. They brought way too much stuff. ;)
We have already proceeded to spill an entire bucket of water and microwave a METAL CAN OF GREEN BEANS.
I almost cried today when I discovered no one had a pastry brush. Shush. I was spoiled in my last kitchen.
I might think that my RA is slightly attractive. Don't tell him that. ;)
No air conditioning. It's fine. Sweating is good for your pores, right? Cleans them out. Totally.
Laughing hysterically and trying to get the command hooks to stay on our walls. Beyond priceless.

Let's just say, I love college already.

for you(:

I'm awake. It's 2am. So help me, this is turning into an awfully awful habit. My kitchen is messy, there is a fruit fly buzzing in my face, and I am staring at my bright computer screen with blood-shot, please-go-to-bed eyes. Who's on my mind? YOU are. Each and every one of you. Every person who has brought me to this day in life--the day before I move out. College? I know, I know. Moving out is not as big of a deal as it seems. You have heard way too much about it from me. But this is a shout-out to each of you who did something, whether it be smiling at me in the hallways of American Fork High School, enduring my noisy, tell-me-everything movie questions, or paying my car insurance since I turned 16. I love each of you. THANK you for sending me off with fantastic, beautiful memories that I will always treasure and tell to my grandchildren someday when I'm 93 1/2. :)

Two years and two hours away...

Tonight, my only high school love drove away in a little blue car with a dent in the hood. Granted, it is high school love, but still. It has been two years since we first were seated next to each other in what would turn out to be my favorite class. We spent late nights studying, talked on the phone way too many times and for way too long, and made frequent Macey's ice-cream runs. Who knows when I will make it down again to see my handsome best friend. I hope it's soon. :) My life is about to change...and it will begin anew two hours away. 

I convinced a teacher once that we were twins...funny.

So, there is this girl. She's a little crazy, and maybe a little buff. She swims like a beast, and she eats like one too. :) This girl has way to many tear stains of mine on her shirts and way too many blackmail stories about me to even be legal. She has been there through the thick and thin of it all. She always makes bets with me, and then she loses first. ;) She is a beautiful daughter of God; one who I am going to miss a lot after I leave. I've heard it said that people come into our lives, for a reason...Camille, because I knew you, I have been changed for good. You go show BYU what you've got, and try not to forget me while you're at it? I love you. :)

It comes with every day that we live...

Never change is an interesting saying. Don't we write that in our friends' yearbooks at the end of each dreary year of high school? "Love ya girl. Never change!" Change is such a foreboding thing in human nature--it has good and bad sides to it, and we can almost never know which it is going to be. I have a friend who is near to my heart, and I have watched the changes in his life take him down a sad, often-traveled path. He changed and good things did not come of it. I watched one of my relatives let change come into her life, and it has done nothing but improve. She is on the high road to success, joy, and happiness in her life. I am on an unknown road of change. You have heard way too much about college from me, I know, but it is obviously the biggest item in my life right now and therefore the most common theme of my blogging obsession. :) I have a lot of changes coming my way in the next few years, and I hope that they all turn out to be good. I know that I will have some hard changes; people to leave, people to avoid, money management (heaven help me)....but I know that I can make it through anything. God is always there to help, and I am ready because He knows I am. Love and live your life to the fullest, and let change come in! I propose a new saying...not never change, but only ever change for the better. Don't let your life slip away from you by doing things that you shouldn't...it is so much harder to pull yourself back up than it is to just stay up in the first place. However, you CAN pull yourself back up even if you have slipped down. :]

Boxes upon boxes upon boxes....

I told my mom this morning that I was going to stay here, never move out, and be a lazy bum for the rest of my life. However, unfortunately this is not true. In six days exactly, I will be driving two-and-a-half hours north to start my life as a young, inexperienced, 18-year-old college student--hence all the boxes. :) My room looks like a storage unit at the moment. To tell you the truth, I am a little scared to move out. I have to pay for so many things, meet new people, be responsible all on my own....but today as I sat at my kitchen table and looked out our glass door, I realized that I am not leaving forever. I will be home again. I also realized something else. No matter where I go, no matter where I am or what I am doing, I will always have my beautiful family to love and support me. College, here I come. :)

Just the little things. :)

We often remember the biggest, most amazing experiences in our lives--being on TV, graduating high school, going to college, our first love, our first kiss...these are all amazing, beautiful moments, but what about the little teensy ones that so often get looked over? I am the oldest of 7 children, and as I look back on my weekend, I realize that I had so many of these precious moments in the past few days. I took my darling two-year-old, trouble-making brother on a walk, and we just talked. Me and my two-year-old. :) I sat up and laughed with my little sister for WAY too long after our bed time. I went on this awesome, last-minute date that was totally unexpected, and I laughed so much. My best friends came over to my house, and we laughed a ton too. I won't necessarily remember all of these things 20 years from now, but they can mean so much right now. I am the person I am today because of all these small, simple, perfect moments. I am so excited to move out and start a new life in Logan in two weeks, and I will miss and appreciate all of the people who have brought me this far. I don't know where I would be today without my God, family, friends, teachers, and leaders. THANK you. Our small moments together have been my most favorite and VERY most treasured. :)